Title: Mrs. Potter
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: James/Lily, Lily/Sirius
A/N: Songfic to the Counting Crows song Mrs. Potter's Lulaby
A/N2: Written for the Cookie Jar.
eamane_elensar requested "Lily/Sirius. Lily still despises James, like in OotP. Lily gets drunk one
night and has sex with James. She gets pregnant, and him being the
Gryffindor he is, asks her to marry him. She does, but then falls in love with Sirius. If possible, make it a song!fic with "Mrs. Potter" by The Counting Crows."


Mrs. Potter

Well, I woke up in mid-afternoon, ‘cause that’s when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I’m always the host
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only go south down the coast.

Lily woke up with a start. She had been lying on the couch at her home in Spinner’s End, Godric’s Hollow. She stood up and looked out of the window. It was only afternoon, the sun was already on its way back to its resting place for the night.

Memories came flooding back to her and she could only remember. She remembered how she despised James Potter. There was no way you could like the boy. Sure, he was intelligent and good-looking, but he was also arrogant, strutting around as though he owned the place.

Lily let out a laugh. If only her fifteen year old self could have seen in what position she was in now. Pregnant by and married to that same James Potter.

All the blue light reflections that colour my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey, I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep

Lily stroked her belly. She was just beginning to show. She loved her baby already. The only thing that she didn’t like in the package deal was James, but he had a right to be there. She was wise enough to see that, even though she didn’t like it.

She had been drinking a lot that night. They had been celebrating on having escaped Voldemort again. James was there. Somehow he was always around, always telling her ho much he loved her.

Lily didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or something else that made her give in to his touch. She had kissed him back as he stole a kiss from her. She moaned as his hands explored her body, she screamed his name in ecstasy as she found the top. She fell asleep in his arms.

It was only later that she found out that she was pregnant. She hadn’t expected James’s reaction when she told him that she was pregnant. He got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. True, he was a Gryffindor, but they were both so terribly young. It’s because of the baby she told herself when she accepted his proposal.

And now she was staring out of the window in the here and now. Lily Potter. It sounded strange to her. In her heart she was still Lily Evans.

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don’t cry
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I know why, but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won’t you talk to me?

Sirius had kneeled in front of her. He had seen her tears. He knew she wasn’t happy in her marriage, he knew she didn’t love James. He just took her in his arms and let her cry ad much as she wanted.

When Lily finally looked up at her husband’s best friend she saw something else then a man that was uncanny like her husband. She had seen Sirius’s softer side. She looked into his eyes and knew she had fallen in love with Sirius Black. She couldn’t tell him.

Well, I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I’m an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you’ve never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame
And though I’ll never forget your face, sometimes I can’t remember my name

Maybe I’m an idiot after all. I mean I’ll always remember Sirius’s face, but sometimes I forget that I’m Mrs. James Potter. It feels like I’m betraying my husband, but my feelings stay the same. I won’t act upon them, it’ll just stay a fantasy.

Lily used that to justify her feelings for Sirius. She also blamed her hormones that were racing through her thanks to her pregnancy. It wasn’t a crime to look elsewhere. There was no harm in looking. Look before you leap, her mother said. And she had been right. Lily found that out just a tad too late.